So I've decided to do something much more lighthearted. I'm going to tell you about the first Twilight movie! I've never seen any of the movies or read any of the books. Since I have no interest in watching the movie (nor the patience) I'm going to watch the trailer and give a synopsis based upon that.
So before going into it, here are some of the things I know about the movie because I live in America.
The main girl is human and her name escapes me but she is played by Kristen Stewart. She is in love with Edward who is a vampire. And some how there is a werewolf involved named Jacob and he takes he shirt off. That's about the extent of what I know from the books or movies. So I'm about to watch the trailer, here goes nothing...
How have I lived my life without seeing this movie?! Okay so, if you are interested the movie comes out on November 21st 2008, maybe i'm a little behind behind on this. But one things for certain and that is things will never be the same.
Here is what I saw in the trailer:
A pale white girl is going to her truck that is talked about in multiple country songs, I was surprised there wasn't a dog in the back. While she is doing this, Edward is creepily watching her, he is also pale. I can only assume that this is set in Seattle where the sun is a non-factor. There is a bigger brick building in the background which leads me to believe that they are in college. Suddenly a '94 Chevy Astro van comes flying inexplicably through the parking lot and loses control. If it were a brown Astro van it would be the one my parents used to own. From here I can only assume that this was no accident, this was an attempt on pale white girl's life. Luckily for her, Edward the vampire stops the van from crushing her against her truck. In this universe vampires have super strength I guess. He gazes longingly into her eyes and then runs away leaving her confused. So now the police and most likely the government have to be looking for him right? Because several people just witnessed him stop a runaway van with his arm and that's something scientists would probably want to study. Now it cuts to Kristen Stewart talking about his super powers, and she is unaware that he is a vampire. He climbs trees like a monkey and throws them like a Scottish man. Then he runs as fast as O.J. Simpson and jumps like someone famous for jumping. Okay, now I see them walking through a parking lot with other people who are in the age range of 20-25. I now take back what I said about them being in college, they must be in high school. If they were in college Hollywood would have cast people who were 25-30. They lay in the grass and stare at each other. He kicks an apple into his hands, which gets her incredibly aroused?
Now I think she has figured it out. From the voice over she says "Your skin is pale white and ice cold and you don't go out into the sunlight...Vampire." My issue with this is she just described herself and everyone else who I have seen in the trailer so far. Maybe she is a vampire and she doesn't know? Is everyone a vampire? Is it just that they are in Seattle? Next they are at the top of a very tall tree and they don't notice the helicopter that is circling them with a camera. Now the first of the passionate kissing, which I believe probably fills up the rest of the movie that isn't in this trailer.
A policeman tells the pale white girl that some one was eaten by an animal. Before he even stops talking she turns to walk away? That was rude, rewatch that part at 1:27 if you didn't catch it.
Edward tells her the pale white girl it was another vampire that ate somebody? It looks as though a gang war between Soc vampires and Greaser vampires is going to take place somewhere in the woods. Wait, are they wearing baseball jerseys? Was a game of vampire baseball just interrupted by a gang war? There is also some mention of a hunt, don't know what that's about. Why is everyone so good looking? I have never been to Seattle but I can't imagine this is what it's like. Then there is this:
Okay, we continue. The dread lock vampire tells us that leader of the Soc's who looks like Chad Kroeger, is the best vampire there is. Okay, I'm getting lazy now because this is hard to watch. I'm just going to say the verbs of the things is see next. Running. Driving. Staring. Jumping. Choking. Throwing. Pushing. Rolling. Staring. Diving. Tackling. And we sum it up with Edward the vampire saying "You are my life now."
What do I think the movie is about?
Does it really matter? From watching the trailer, not a lot of the plot is left up to your imagination. But that's understandable, because I don't think they thought anybody who hadn't read the books was going to see this movie. Maybe that's why they didn't say a single characters name throughout the entire trailer! I still don't know what the main girl's name is! It would have helped me for Edward the vampire to say "Blank, you are my life now." And where was Jacob the werewolf? 1/3 of what I knew about this movie wasn't in the trailer!
But If I had to give a synopsis about the movie it would be like this. Edward, his younger brother, and his single mother move to Seattle. Edward's younger brother makes friends with two kids in a comic book store who claim to be vampire hunters. Edward finds himself enamored with a pale white girl and he joins a biker gang, who's leader is Chad Kroeger. They turn out to be vampires and they bite Edward to make him a vampire. Edward starts feeling bad about being a vampire and eventually turns against the vampire bike gang. He saves the pale white girl from the biker gang and kills the Chad Kroeger who also turned out to be dating his mom.
Was I close?
Here is what I saw in the trailer:
A pale white girl is going to her truck that is talked about in multiple country songs, I was surprised there wasn't a dog in the back. While she is doing this, Edward is creepily watching her, he is also pale. I can only assume that this is set in Seattle where the sun is a non-factor. There is a bigger brick building in the background which leads me to believe that they are in college. Suddenly a '94 Chevy Astro van comes flying inexplicably through the parking lot and loses control. If it were a brown Astro van it would be the one my parents used to own. From here I can only assume that this was no accident, this was an attempt on pale white girl's life. Luckily for her, Edward the vampire stops the van from crushing her against her truck. In this universe vampires have super strength I guess. He gazes longingly into her eyes and then runs away leaving her confused. So now the police and most likely the government have to be looking for him right? Because several people just witnessed him stop a runaway van with his arm and that's something scientists would probably want to study. Now it cuts to Kristen Stewart talking about his super powers, and she is unaware that he is a vampire. He climbs trees like a monkey and throws them like a Scottish man. Then he runs as fast as O.J. Simpson and jumps like someone famous for jumping. Okay, now I see them walking through a parking lot with other people who are in the age range of 20-25. I now take back what I said about them being in college, they must be in high school. If they were in college Hollywood would have cast people who were 25-30. They lay in the grass and stare at each other. He kicks an apple into his hands, which gets her incredibly aroused?
Now I think she has figured it out. From the voice over she says "Your skin is pale white and ice cold and you don't go out into the sunlight...Vampire." My issue with this is she just described herself and everyone else who I have seen in the trailer so far. Maybe she is a vampire and she doesn't know? Is everyone a vampire? Is it just that they are in Seattle? Next they are at the top of a very tall tree and they don't notice the helicopter that is circling them with a camera. Now the first of the passionate kissing, which I believe probably fills up the rest of the movie that isn't in this trailer.
A policeman tells the pale white girl that some one was eaten by an animal. Before he even stops talking she turns to walk away? That was rude, rewatch that part at 1:27 if you didn't catch it.
"I'm sorry, am I boring you?! A man was eaten alive by an animal!"
Edward tells her the pale white girl it was another vampire that ate somebody? It looks as though a gang war between Soc vampires and Greaser vampires is going to take place somewhere in the woods. Wait, are they wearing baseball jerseys? Was a game of vampire baseball just interrupted by a gang war? There is also some mention of a hunt, don't know what that's about. Why is everyone so good looking? I have never been to Seattle but I can't imagine this is what it's like. Then there is this:
"I would rather die, than stay away from you." -Pale White Girl Sigh...
Okay, we continue. The dread lock vampire tells us that leader of the Soc's who looks like Chad Kroeger, is the best vampire there is. Okay, I'm getting lazy now because this is hard to watch. I'm just going to say the verbs of the things is see next. Running. Driving. Staring. Jumping. Choking. Throwing. Pushing. Rolling. Staring. Diving. Tackling. And we sum it up with Edward the vampire saying "You are my life now."
What do I think the movie is about?
Does it really matter? From watching the trailer, not a lot of the plot is left up to your imagination. But that's understandable, because I don't think they thought anybody who hadn't read the books was going to see this movie. Maybe that's why they didn't say a single characters name throughout the entire trailer! I still don't know what the main girl's name is! It would have helped me for Edward the vampire to say "Blank, you are my life now." And where was Jacob the werewolf? 1/3 of what I knew about this movie wasn't in the trailer!
But If I had to give a synopsis about the movie it would be like this. Edward, his younger brother, and his single mother move to Seattle. Edward's younger brother makes friends with two kids in a comic book store who claim to be vampire hunters. Edward finds himself enamored with a pale white girl and he joins a biker gang, who's leader is Chad Kroeger. They turn out to be vampires and they bite Edward to make him a vampire. Edward starts feeling bad about being a vampire and eventually turns against the vampire bike gang. He saves the pale white girl from the biker gang and kills the Chad Kroeger who also turned out to be dating his mom.
Was I close?
Nailed it.
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